Waiting for Love! If the moment you meet someone, you start thinking about If this is the one that will bring love, you will begin to focus only on those aspects of the individual that you see as love related.
Stop Thinking that Everyone You Meet Could be the «One».
You will not see the whole person and instead will be focusing on a preconceived template and whether that individual meets your criteria.
Four things will happen:
A. You will not get to know the real person.
B. You will appear unattractive and shallow to that individual.
C. You may miss a real gem.
D. You will always be wondering: Why does love not come into my life?
Coming Over as Desperate is Not a Good Look.
Assuming you do actually meet someone you think is the one, you will immediately start to try and attract them (flirting).
Trust we, they will know that you are doing this, and since it is taking place before either of you has really got to know the other, it is going to come over as really desperate and premature.
Desperate people are scary and will almost certainly drive the individual away. You will get a reputation as someone promiscuous, and nobody takes that sort of person seriously as a potential partner.
Keep Busy, But Don’t Overdo It.
Think about how love naturally occurs. You spend time with someone working together or in a social or educational setting. You become closer in a natural way. It takes time.
Now it is evident that the more things you are doing, the more people you will meet, and eventually, a Natural relationship may occur. Just forget about relationships or looking for relationships; just get on with living, and that is the time that love will suddenly pop up.
However, it is essential not to take this keeping busy to extreme and filling every hour as you will have no time to act if love does appear. Keep it in moderation.
Ditch Those Unrealistic Expectations.
There are people that an early age goes as far as setting a template for what a potential lover will be like. Their looks, personality, job, and so on. They will have a totally idealized picture of what their lover will be like, and they restrict any dating or social interaction with those that fit that template.
They think they are selective and that this will stop them from wasting their time on inappropriate people. This is sure to lead to a vastly reduced number of potential candidates. Of those candidates, there is no guarantee that there will be a spark in the opposite direction. Statistically, you have much less chance of finding someone.
In any case, even if you find someone like that who has an interest in you? When you face reality and not just a template, you may find that you got it very wrongs, and that kind of person does not appeal to you after all.
Stop Looking for Love. Love Does Not Work Like That.
In the first verse of the song «You can’t Hurry Love» by Phil Collins the lyrics are:
«My mama said, “You can’t hurry love
No, you’ll just have to wait”
She said, “Love don’t come easy
But it’s a game of give and take”
You can’t hurry love
No, you’ll just have to wait
Just trust in a good time
No matter how long it takes».
You certainly can’t hurry love. It is an irresistible attraction that will take place naturally between two individuals. You cannot control it or decide when it will occur. You just have to wait until that moment occurs. As we said in paragraph three, it will happen between two people who are interacting in work, social, or educational reasons.
Stop Worrying about Why Love Does Not Come.
If you spend all of your time looking inwards at why love is not happening, you are very likely to miss it when it does pass by. We have already established that you cannot hurry the process or control it, so what is the point of worrying about it?
The only thing you can do is get yourself out there so that you meet people and focus on the activities. Progress with your career, have fun but do not focus on romance, or you will drive it away.
Ditch That Timeline.
Some teenagers, when looking forward to their life, make themselves a mental schedule for their life.
By a certain age, they will be going steady, and then at a certain age, they will marry, achieve career success, have children, retire, and so on.
Life rarely works out that way, and if you have set a certain age by which you will find love, then if that does not happen, you start to become cynical and over-focus on making it happen. It is just not healthy.
Nothing in life ever works to schedule, and the best plan is to just «Go with the Flow».
Finding Love is Not a Process; It Is Something That Just Sneaks Up on You.
Here is an experiment to prove a point. Imagine sitting in a coffee shop, look across the room and focus on the first man you see. Now sit there and, in your head, try and fall in love with him.
However long you try, all you will have done is tried to fool yourself. You cannot just decide to fall in love with anyone. It is just something that happens outside of your control.
You Cannot Force Love.
Love is not something you can force, no matter how much you wonder: Why does love not come into my life? There is only an individual answer to this question: as you cannot predict how or why you will fall for someone and how and why they will feel the same.
Be Patient and When You are Least Expecting, Love Will be There.
By actively thinking about wonder, why does love not come into my life? You are causing yourself stress and sadness. The moment you forget about it and get on with enjoying your life and progressing with other things, which is when love will jump out at you.
If you think about it, it is really quite exciting knowing that at any point in your life, in any circumstances in your life, love can suddenly jump out at you, and the unexpectedness of it will make it all the more exciting.
Also read the article: What Are the Differences Between Male and Female Love?