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What is True Male Love?

Image of a happy young man with a bouquet of flowers

 When a man is truly in love, the recipient will have his undivided attention. A man in love will pay close attention to everything that you do.

 If the feelings are reciprocal, it is a time to be valued, as once the relationship is a few years old everything will change. Relationships take work from both parties, and what is true male love is difficult to define, and in defining this a few models on relationships will help us.

     The Five Stages of a Relationship.

 According to Psychologist George Levinger (1927-2017), there are 5 stages in a relationship.

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  1. Acquaintance or Attraction, often when the man is attracted to a woman or another, based on appearance or recognized similarities.
  2. Buildup, this stage, occurs when the two partners become intimate. Trust is then gradually built. For a man to move to this stage of compatibility it is important, for the couple to share mutual tastes, hobbies, and values.
  3. Continuation is the stage where long-term commitment emerges. During this phase, the love relationship intensifies. Some relationships fail to continue, past this stage.
  4. Deterioration occurs for a number of reasons, and one is an imbalance between rewards obtained from continuing with the relationship.
  5. Termination can be caused by a breakup or death.

Man giving flowers to beautiful girl

The above article illustrates the difficulty in sustaining a relationship long-term and if you ask, what is true male love? Well, the concept is rather nebulous. There are many men (and women), who prefer never to go past stage 2 in their quest for love.

     Someone Who is Always There for You.

 Life is not always easy, and a man who is in love will always be with you in the bad times. When he truly cares for you, he will make it known with actions and effort. In other words, he ‘Has your back.’ He will also want to make you happy by doing more for you, and he will want you to be happy as a couple.

     How to Tell if a Man is in Love with You?

  • He shows an interest in your future plans;
  • He will go out of his comfort zone for you, this works either way, as it is often a woman who leaves her comfort zone for a man;
  • He will refer to you as we, as he sees you as a couple;
  • He will give his time and attention to you;
  • He will talk about you to others;
  • He will show trust, vulnerability, and love.

     Maintaining a Relationship.

 To build trust in a relationship, it is important to have honest conversations and discuss finances and background, and not hide any relevant information from one another. At this early stage, nothing is permanent, and it is a time to support one another through adversity and in attaining goals.

Image of two fingers symbolizing love

 It is also a time for commitment, and some men find this very difficult, moving in together can make or break time, and without commitment, the relationship will not progress past this point.

 Moving in together will give a much better insight into one another’s day-to-day habits, and will help both parties to realize whether they are truly compatible or not. This is a stage that is better, not hurried, as it gives the couple more time to bond.

     Relationships, The Early Years.

 Our first relationship in life is with our parent or parents. When an early attachment is interrupted or ambivalent, it can result in difficulty forming and maintaining secure relationships later in life. We only need one good parent, and our relationship with them influences how we relate to others throughout life.

 Interactions with other people are the most difficult area of life, and for social interaction, it is important to learn people skills early. Providing our children with secure relationships and social skills enabling future friendships can be amongst the most important work we ever do.

 The three key areas of importance are:

  • Behavior;
  • Social skills;
  • Solving social problems.

Once we learn these three key points, we are ready to take on the world, and our relationships will be much easier to negotiate, girls seem to learn these things faster than boys, who can sometimes need extra help.

 Part of good social skills is cooperation that we learn both at home and at school, and children who get on with others easily and cooperate will find life much easier.

     Complex Relationships.

A great man once said, ‘The path to true love never runs smoothly’ and the complexities of day-to-day life can get in the way.

Handsome and loving young man

 To give your relationship the best opportunity to thrive, avoid unnecessary complications:

  • Never form a relationship with someone who is married;
  • Don’t pretend to be something you are not;
  • If the relationship is going nowhere, leave it, life is too short for bad relationships.

 Always be open to love, you never know where it will find you.

     Deteriorating Relationships.

 Maintaining a relationship and keeping love alive is very hard work, and sooner or later, one person will leave the relationship, either by natural causes or because the relationship has ended. When you find that your relationship is deteriorating take steps to strengthen it, this is important, especially when children are involved.

 Take a weekend away with your partner, and take the time to talk, and hopefully to problem solve while there is still time to resolve the issues. After all, marriage is based on communication, and often with a busy home/work life, there is no time to talk properly in a busy household. Issues should be solved when they arise and not left to become big problems.


 Defining what is true male love is an impossible task, as there are lots of different versions that no one article can cover, and no amount of reading can answer. We plan to next work on the ‘good enough marriage’, as this is where the answer appears to lie, as nothing is perfect.

   Also read the article: 10 Signs of a Reliable Man

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