In this list of 15 Qualities, we look at what husbands expect from their wives. These are written from a male perspective, and it could be said of many of them that they should be reciprocal.
Acceptance is being seen as adequate, valid, or suitable. It is not a huge ask for a man to make, if a man cannot feel that is has achieved acceptance then how he can, he be confident and feel loved?
A man seeks acceptance from his wife. This means that his wife should recognize him for what he is and not what she wants him to be. The man seeks a relationship where he will always be fully embraced by his wife, even in times when there may be some disagreement taking place. His wife should focus on now, and always look for the positive instead of fixating on the negative.
2. Appreciation and Gratitude.
Appreciation and gratitude is recognition of efforts, when we put a lot of effort into something, there is a level of self-satisfaction at a job well done. However, if nobody else seems to acknowledge that job, then that self-satisfaction is put into question.
Most men put a lot of effort into marriage and although much of that effort is never seen by his wife directly, occasionally some of this effort is highly visible. Unfortunately, many women will just ignore that effort and pay no heed to it. Just a simple acknowledgement that she recognizes what he has done for her can brighten his day and will encourage him to strive even harder.
3. Emotional Support.
If you love somebody, then you will want to be emotionally intimate with them. There should be a joint consciousness where each individual can feel the emotional state of the other. When one part of a marriage is hurting or feeling challenged in a good marriage, the other partner will automatically sense it and commence the healing process.
From childhood, society has conditioned men to hide their emotions, not to be weak, and just deal with it. Inside a marriage, this can be a way to create a situation where feelings can build up inside the man until they just explode with severe consequences. Men cannot handle emotions very well and need/want a wife who can coax feelings out of them and support them. Men do not just expect, but need, a wife who will be close and can help him handle the suppressed emotions that he bottles up.
4. Genuine Companionship and Friendship.
True companionship is knowing that the other party has your back. They place your interests on par with their own. Men expect their wife to have this spiritual intimacy that promotes companionship.
Men and women have different relationships with their friends. A woman will confide in her closest friends about emotions. A man will not be able to do this because of his conditioning. In a happy marriage, a close friendship and shared interests can make a marriage so much stronger. Men hope that this friendship can exist with a wife.
5. Less Complaining.
Have you ever met someone who seems to spend all day complaining and looking at what is wrong? They never seem to spot what is right. They are a negative person. In a social situation, you do your best to avoid them, as you know they will bring your happiness level down and leave you depressed. Now imagine if your wife is someone like this.
When a wife complains too much and is continually being negative it can be incredibly hard for the man to have any space to try and tackle his own issues. Over time, this can become stressful and creates anger inside the man. The result can be an explosion of anger. The ability to control themselves and not complain about everything is another example of what husbands expect from their wives.
6. Less Stress and Drama.
Attention seekers often pick up on incidents from everyday life and turn what is really some insignificant event into something more, so that they can remain central to a situation by relaying how awful the incident was.
There are some people who tend to create stress, and they make a big drama out of simple everyday occurrences. For example: If a man breaks a simple household item, she will continue to talk about it long after the event occurred. A man after a day at work, dealing with countless other stressful events does not want to come home and face more stress over trivial things.
7. Love and Affection.
Love can be demonstrated by various methods. We can express love through sexual intimacy or though emotional intimacy. Getting the balance right between the two is a crucial life skill. There are women who will “do their duty” and provide sexual favors” and then think that they have created intimacy. Without the emotional part of the process, it become cold and barren.
A man is hoping that his wife will offer love and affection. That she will demonstrate her feelings for him both physically and emotionally. Knowing that he will return to that environment encourages him to come home and spend time at home with his wife, whereas if a woman does not provide love and affection, there is a risk he will seek that elsewhere.
8. Patience and Understanding.
If a wife is not patient and will flare up immediately they are faced with any of life’s problems they become less attractive and become someone that we endeavor not to share news with. It creates a gulf between husband and wife.
Everybody makes mistakes occasionally, especially if under stress. A man expects his wife to show that understanding and do her best to help him recover his balance.
When a man gets married his efforts to make a better life for his wife and family can be at the cost of losing some status in the wider world. It can sometimes result in a loss of self-esteem. If his wife does not show any respect for his efforts, for him, as a man, then this will compound feelings of lost self-esteem. A man hopes that his wife will understand and will try to build up his confidence and not destroy it.
10. Respect Towards His Family.
Before marriage a man’s closest supporters and friends are his family. As a child, he has grown with respect for his parents and grown to love his siblings.
A husband will expect his wife to treat his family with respect, for if she treats them disrespectfully a chasm will be created between them and the man will be placed in a position of constantly trying to repair the rifts, adding new stresses to his life.
11. Some Freedom.
The basis of female friendship is different from that of male friendship. Male friendship is based on sharing common activities and interests, and not emotional support. If a man is denied his freedom, the result is that he will be cut off from sharing the activities of his male friends and will become isolated. A husband hopes that his wife will understand that, not feel threatened by it, and give him the freedom to maintain friendships.
Most women like to be surprised occasionally by their husband. A surprise gift, a special evening where a restaurant has been booked or there are tickets to a show. These are, from the man’s point of view, ways of rewarding and showing appreciation to his wife. If this is how a man thinks. It is clear if he is never surprised, that there is no appreciation of him. A man wants occasionally to be surprised in return.
13. Your Attention.
A husband is well aware that his wife has many aspects of her own life to be taken care of. If they have children, he knows that their needs must come first. However, there are times when the man needs to have some quality time spent on him. Not huge amounts but just for him to know that he, as the husband, is seen as important too.
14. Your Trust.
A man needs to know that he has his wife’s trust. It can be very stressful pandering to a woman who is constantly suspicious and mistrustful. This is not a happy way to live, and it is going to lead to the husband and wife being pushed apart. Unless the man has done something to warrant suspicion, then a man wants his wife to trust him.
15. Your Understanding.
A husband will generally try to understand what his wife wants from life, and most men will endeavor to supply that lifestyle. He may be successful, or he may not, but generally, it is not through lack of trying. In return, a man would like his wife to try and understand what he wants from life and to meet him halfway in making it work. A man would like his wife to show some understanding of his wants and desires.
We hope that these fifteen items have provoked some thoughts and will help clarify just how men actually think.