Relationships generally make us entitled and accountable for whomever we are involved with. While this will sound a little creepy, it is actually the fact. It is very common for people to ask you about the welfare of the person you are in a relationship with.
But this accountability completely comes to a halt when you can no longer give a proper account of the person’s whereabouts. At that point, it will be safe to say that you are already selfish, because being selfish is the act of having regard for oneself above others well-being.
Is there a Good Side to Selfishness in Relationships?
Sometimes the quotes available for us in life sound very contradicting. This is because daily we come across words like “We should be our own biggest priority”. And other times, you come across the ones that will say, “You should live for others “. In all these, all we can see is confusion, and certainly, almost everyone would be confused as to which is the right thing to do.
So back to the question, the first answer that will come to mind when asked whether selfishness in a relationship is good or bad will be that it is bad. This is because even in our daily dealings in life, nobody wants to associate with a selfish person.
Selfishness has its own corresponding attitudes like jealousy and bitterness. Once you are selfish, you won’t ever want to see others especially your partner happier than you are because, you want to be the highlight.
Once a relationship is concerned, you are only allowed to make it all about yourself when you give so much and receive so little. Only when you feel that you have given more and your partner is beginning to drain you.
What are the Real Signs of Selfishness in Relationships?
Here are some things that if you do, show you are being selfish in your relationship.
Taking Your Partner for Granted.
One of the worst feelings is finding out that the one person you care about doesn’t care how his or her actions affect you. When you are involved with someone, you should have the maturity to weigh your actions and your words before saying it to the person.
Once you start acting out of your free will, without the slightest consideration of how it will affect the other person, then you are really becoming selfish.
Again when you stop paying attention to their complaints and seeing every little remark they make as disturbing and irrelevant, then you are taking the person for granted.
When You are Always Willing to Receive and Never Eager to Give.
Most times we become parasitic to our partners. Parasites only receive from the host and never willing to give. Once you start looking out for only the things you stand to gain, then you are becoming selfish.
When you start being stingy even with your attention, but always expects to receive quality time and attention from your partner, then that is selfishness at its peak.
When You Start Indulging in Impulsive Actions.
At times, we get to a point where we no longer think before acting. It could range from picking unnecessary quarrels to doing things just as it pleases us.
When You Stop Being Flexible.
It is only normal for us to accommodate other people’s wishes. In relationships, you should be well aware that it is a journey two persons chose to embark on. So you being accommodating shouldn’t be a choice rather an obligation.
You will know that you have become inflexible when you are no longer able to cancel your initial engagement when your partner needs you. When you can no longer sacrifice your time and be awake a little longer just to have a nice chat.
Lack of Accountability.
The moment, you can no longer give proper account for your actions then something is off and that’s selfishness. It is selfish because living your partner to do the additions and subtractions is enough to mentally drain a person.
Are you already at that point in your relationship when you can no longer explain why you did some certain things? Or that point why you can no longer explain some comments you make because you didn’t even know how it came out? Then you are becoming selfish because you no longer have the interest of your partner at heart.
You Always Want to Have it Your Way.
Whenever you find yourself always striving to make all the important decisions in your relationship, then that’s selfishness sets in. Your partner should also get to decide when you will have your next beach party, or where you will go for your next date.
Whether you provide more in a relationship or not, it doesn’t matter, it is some sought of obligation for you to try so hard to incorporate your partner’s choices.
Always trying to be in control of everything your partner does is a very big sign of selfishness. When you always try to have a say on the friends they keep, where he or she goes to, people they talk to then it is a big red flag.
Whatever you have with your partner shouldn’t be suffocating. They should still have the right to little activities of life and also living life in their own term.
The moment you start feeling that you can never be wrong or that your partner is always the one at fault, just know that something is definitely off. When you love someone, you shouldn’t find it hard to apologize when your actions have hurt your partner.
Saying sorry and actually meaning it, is a very big way of showing that you really care about someone’s happiness. You shouldn’t always be quick to justify your actions when it is very obvious that you are wrong.
Unwillingness to Make Sacrifices.
When you love someone you should be able to go out of your way to do good things for your partner. The emphasis on good things.
A relationship is developed and maintained by two persons who found each other by chance or by luck. Always have it at the back of your mind that when someone loves you, your actions, directly and indirectly, affect them.
So, learn to live for others and strive to make them happy always. In this article, we looked at some signs of selfishness in relationships so that you can identify these signs easily and strive to strengthen your relationship.
Read the article: Female Pride in a Relationship with a Man