There is always some kind of conflict in every family. Usually it is quite minor in nature and can be dealt with quite easily. It is important to recognize that conflict is not unusual and will often resolve itself. However, if conflict seems to be ongoing then the adoption of some kind of structure with rules, to avoid those issues that cause the conflict. In this article:
How do you keep peace in your family? Top 15 rules, we will look at some great ideas to maintain the peace.
Section 1 – Family Rules.
1. Make family rules.
Family rules will assist in reducing friction within a family. If all family members know and understand how the family is structured and what is and is not permissible, it will have a big impact on the amount of family conflict. Family rules will ensure that children know what they can and cannot do. As your child grows they will learn, work, and play, in places that have conditions. Having family laws will get your child used to following laws elsewhere.
2. Knowing the rules and knowing the consequences of not following them.
Clarity is of the utmost important when it comes to conditions. It should be a specific rule, that is totally clear and the consequences of breaking the rule should be equally clear, If rules are not always enforced it will lead to confusion and conflict.
3. Rules should be age specific.
Clearly you cannot set the same rules for a three year old as a sixteen year-old. To try to set general rules for all the children in a household will guarantee conflict. Laws have to change and adapt as children grow.
4. Set an appropriate number of conditions.
Especially with toddlers, set a manageable number of laws. Work on two or three conditions at first and then add further rules once they have mastered these rules it is then OK to add further laws.
5. When developing rules involve all the caregivers.
When planning to set conditions in a house, it is important to ask for suggestions from all the caregivers in a family. Discuss proposed rules and implement all the laws that everyone can support. It is essential that all caregivers are consistent in applying those rules. One person who is out of line and does not apply the conditions can cause children to be confused.
6. Remind children of the rules.
Keep re-enforcing the rules by repeating them at regular intervals. Post the laws in written form somewhere in the house. Sticking them on front of the fridge is a popular location. If rules are prominent then there can be no argument about them.
7. Any relatives coming to stay should be asked to make sure that children stick to the rules.
Ask any family members and other visitors to ensure the conditions are observed, it may be wonderful to be that favorite aunt who let them get away with things, but it only serves to make things harder for other caregivers in the family. It causes resentment towards the family members that apply the rules.
8. Set and follow through with consequences.
In addition to setting the rules and making them clear, it is important to set known consequences for each infringement of a rule. These consequences should be clear, appropriate, and proportional. It is of the utmost importance that the consequences are carried through in all cases of infringement.
Section 2 – Dialogue.
How do you keep peace in your family? Top 15 rules – this section looks at good dialogue, especially when we are caring for older members of the family.
9. Be open about feelings.
If family members do not express feelings clearly then other family members may misunderstand motives. Conflict can occur because there has been no dialogue. Taking the example of a senior citizen who does not want to stop driving, even though other members of the family believe the time has come. It may be that other family members have seen actions that frighten them and have convinced them that there is a safety issue for both the relative and the general public. Just saying you should stop driving without lovingly and clearly explaining reasons will just serve to promote conflict with the senior citizen who wants to remain mobile. Imagine how the older person feels to see their abilities waning.
10. Roles change within a family.
We start out as the recipient of rules as children. We mature, reach adulthood, and have children of our own. We then set the conditions. However, there is a third stage which is very difficult to accept, and that stage is when we become old and are dependent on our children, and we start to lose faculties. Obviously we are not all the same and some people never fully reach this stage, but those that do will find it hard to accept it. Keeping open lines of communication is essential and an ability to understand someone else’s point of view is very important.
Section 3 – Some Short Tips to Reduce Conflict.
How do you keep peace in your family? Top 15 rules – In this section we have five simple strategies to achieve this.
11. Use consultation within the whole family.
If there is a problem then discuss it. Be calm and before you start to discuss it, set rules for the discussion (for example: no name calling, no yelling, and concentrate on peaceful solution). Younger children who are old enough to understand should be encouraged to take part.
12. Brainstorm solutions to family issues.
As everyone to give their solutions. Do not discount any solution but list them all. Once the list is complete then use tip 11 to discuss them.
13. Ask different family members to undertake some action to solve the problem.
Family members might volunteer to undertake certain actions. Turn the conflict from a problem into a family solution.
14. Pros and cons.
Once you, as a family, identify some possible solutions, ask all the members of the family to list pros and cons of each solution.
15. Leader change.
Be sensitive when dealing with problems, remember when you were young and wanted more responsibility, and think how senior citizens will be feeling when they see their roles as leaders of the family coming naturally to an end, as a new generation takes the lead.
Peace to Your Home!