The attribution of family roles is not as easy as it initially seems, often what ends up happing is that the parents or the individuals at the helm of the family end up distributing the roles.
Themselves which come with many problems such as family members not being happy or good at the roles they have been given or the person that has given out the roles with even inadvertently or purposely give out the roles that they do not want to do themselves.
This is a very complicated topic that we are going to be exploring in this brief family roles and their distribution article.
A Family Should Not Be an Outright Democracy.
One of the biggest misconceptions out there is that the best approach to take is to have a democratic process in your family, there is nothing wrong with democracy in general however you have to keep in mind that in your average family you will have people of all ages and due to this there will be varying levels of maturity.
Thanks to this common reality, you cannot have a democracy that works; instead, you will need at least one family member in the leadership role where they will take decisions after thorough discussions with the other family members.
Otherwise, you risk creating an atmosphere of complete anarchy where nothing gets achieved.
Furthermore, it is worth taking more consideration based on the age and maturity of the respective family member, for example, you should value the wants and opinions of a 15-year-old more than of a 5-year-old family member.
Allow Other Family Members to Voice Their Opinion.
Related to the point above, although it is best to have someone that takes the decisions, these decisions need to be taken after you have spoken to your other family members.
Despite the obvious reason of getting a sense of how they are feeling about your own proposals, it is also a good idea because they can also have very valuable suggestions that the whole family can benefit from.
This is will also make sure that every person in the family knows that they are a valued member instead of free labor, you should also use reasoning when making your decisions rather than just seeing role distribution as a competition between whose decision comes out on top.
Additionally, you should make sure to explain to the others in the family why you took that decision which will reduce the chances of resentment and subsequent arguments.
It Is Natural for Different Generations to Disagree.
The world is constantly changing at an exponential rate, so it is no surprise that the different generations will have their own entrenched views and beliefs about the key and often sensitive subjects that they will tend to disagree on.
Understanding yourself that this is natural and helping your other family members also understand this will allow you to be a lot more productive in your discussions about the family’s roles.
By understanding the societal differences between generations this will allow the family members to understand where everyone is coming from and be more sympathetic rather than straight away judging their counterparts.
Moreover, by coming to this understand you should try and reach some kind of middle ground where all of you are happy and satisfied, it is further important for the older generations to explore how society has changed since their childhood.
Everyone Should Have Responsibilities.
When wondering about the topic of family roles and their distributions, it is first important to understand that everyone should have responsibilities and equal ones at those.
As we have mentioned already in the introduction, a lot of parents and family figureheads will either on purpose or subconsciously not take roles that they do not want to take part in such as mowing the lawn ones a week since they do not enjoy it for whatever reason.
The best approach if you have a certain chore or activity is to be honest about it, tell the rest of your family what you do not like doing and see what they think and if anyone else will be interested of taking care of this duty, if not you can alternatively come to some kind of arrangement.
For example, if you have an activity that everyone hates to take part in then you can all agree to take turns doing it and once you get into a routine it will not be that big of a problem.
Don’t Be Constrained by Gender-Specific Roles.
Gone are the times when we are constrained by gender-specific roles, your wife for example does not have to carry out jobs that are stereo-typically seen as a woman’s job as doing the ironing and cleaning the house.
Instead, you should look at your family’s personal circumstances, if your wife is busy all day working for most of the day, then you, the children and other family members that you are living with should help her with her duties if you can.
Also, you need to keep in mind that stereotypes are not necessarily true, just because you have such traditional roles that may be enforced by culture and the media, this does not mean that a guy is going to be necessarily good at carrying out DIY work. Not all men are good with their hands and physically strong and motivated to carry out certain types of physical work.
Remember to Help Each Other.
Even after you have agreed on and distributed the familial roles throughout your family, you should keep in mind that this is not some kind of giant competition or every man for themselves scenario.
Life is unexpected, a lot of things can end up happening that you and your family members have not planned for; this things tend to happen quite often so you guys as a family have to be ready for such circumstances.
Like all aspects of family life, in order to be able to cope properly in such scenarios, all of you will have to practice good communication so you can let each other know when you do not have the time or ability to carry out certain roles for whatever reason.
But you also need to make sure that you do not allow certain family members to exploit this system, as this will undoubtedly eventually be discovered and it will cause a drop in morale as well as the likeliness of other family members no longer being as interested in carrying out their own roles.
Happiness Is More Important Than Perfection.
The purpose of family roles and their distribution is to help create a beneficial environment for everyone involved by making sure that your home is clean and tidy, the garden is well kept, the shopping is done and home-cooked food is ready for dinner most nights. Achieving these things is supposed to increase your family’s welfare and increase your happiness.
You should not go over the top with this, everyone makes mistakes and spending too much of your valuable time doing chores all day is not actually a good thing.
Make sure to keep the right balance of chores and roles in the family and work as a team to achieve them all so you have enough free time to do activities together as a family.
Read the article: Happy Family Relationships