Any relationship can be hard, especially the relationship between a man and a woman who are married. The partner in a marriage has more influence on the well-being of the spouse than anyone else.
Marriage Seen Through an Evolutionary Model.
Psychology shows that man will often think subconsciously in a primal way. In evolution, it is incredibly important for a man to have sex as often as he can with as many women as he can, so as to improve the chances of having children. In this evolutionary situation, the position is reversed for a woman who will have more chance of having children that survive if the man is there to provide for and protect them.
Throughout history, the average man has lived as little more than a beast of burden. They do the manual labor and in time of war, they are used as cannon fodder. Even though in today’s world, where we find the majority of leaders in the world are male, the people at the bottom of the pile are men, the homeless, military veterans, prisoners, and deaths in combat.
We link the historical truth that the main value of a man holds in society with how he can attract women. Marriage ends this activity, and the man will frequently lose his self-esteem. This often leads to the woman subconsciously losing interest.
The male role of being a good provider and protector means that the man has to be in control of his emotions. The value of a man is also deemed to be less than that of a woman or child, as he is supposed to sacrifice his life to protect them. The fact that a man is controlling his feelings means that he does not receive much empathy.
Men hide their vulnerabilities because society sees this vulnerability as a failure. Such a failure has no use to society, and if a man cannot protect and provide for women and children, he is seen as feminine and scorned. Within a marriage, all of this male psychology is bubbling underneath the surface and colors various aspects of male attitudes.
Male Psychology in Marriage. True Thoughts on How it Affects Men.
There are factors that have a big impact on a relationship. The average woman speaks 7,000 words a day and has five distinct speech tones. The average man, however, will only speak 2,000 words and is restricted to just three tones. Because society has conditioned men to restrain their emotions, they find it difficult to talk about them and trying to do so will create a massive increase in stress.
In a marriage, men lose their power to communicate far more than women. Men will often avoid a verbal conflict and just say to themselves that it is just not worth fighting. The woman will continue to try and make her point and if unable to there is a great chance that she will just leave. The man will then be devastated.
The problem is that men will usually put up with huge amounts of criticism and negative speech from their partners instead of trying to debate the issue and put their side they just let it pass.
For men, marriage has a big effect on their lives. Married men earn more money, they have more peace of mind, and more frequent and better sex and marriage also reduces men’s health risks. Conversely, divorce will boost a man’s chances of death by 200%.
Research has shown that men, having decided to take the plunge and marry, are more committed to the relationship than women. Men usually have feelings of immense passion for their wives. The problem is that they frequently don’t recognize it. Most affairs are not the product of meeting someone by chance, they are planned. By the time they reach 45: 40% of men will have had at least one affair.
Most people assume that the main reason for having an affair is sex. In fact, it is not, research has shown that most affairs occur when a partner is seeking emotional response such as love, validation or warmth. The best sex is actually within marriage and is usually more frequent. So, why do men cheat on their wives? Men who are really in love with their wives may still cheat on them. This is often because his self-esteem has dropped, and he was concerned that settling down had taken away his ability to attract women and reflected on his status of being an Alpha male.
True Thoughts on Psychological Abuse on Men by Women in a Marriage.
When considering our true thoughts on Male psychology in marriage it is important to consider when psychological aspects of perceived men’s roles are manipulated and abused by their female partner.
A little known fact are those male victims of domestic abuse can be as high as 33% of total cases.
This is a situation that often goes unreported due to the male being unable to talk about feelings and the low self-esteem that abused men will have. Men will feel that nobody will believe them and are embarrassed to talk about the abuse. Male victims of psychological and physical abuse are often attacked while they sleep or by women using weapons to make up for strength differences. Males are also reluctant to fight back as they are conditioned not to use violence on a woman.
Psychological abuse within marriage may consist of:
- Verbal abuse in front of friends and colleagues;
- Jealousy, Harassment, accusations of infidelity;
- Maintaining control of where you go;
- Maintaining control on who you can see;
- Control of expenditure;
- False allegations to police, friends or family about you;
- Threatening to leave and stop you seeing the kids.
All these are examples of women taking advantage of the psychological conditioning of men.
Reasons why men do not leave abusive marriages:
- Shame – not fulfilling the role society expects of man;
- Religious beliefs;
- Isolation from friends and family and other support;
- No equivalent of woman’s aid for men;
- In denial;
- Remaining to protect children.
In this look at our true thoughts on male psychology in marriage. We have seen that the role of men in society has a clear primary model and that is to protect and provide for women and children without showing emotions. Knowing that to fail will result in scorn from society. This has created a situation where men are frequently left at the bottom of the social ladder. It has left them vulnerable to abuse and manipulation while at the same time the lack of empathy for men has left them isolated. The result is that 75% of suicides are men. All the best!